Selfish and Cowardly
by Kazima Kuwabara
Summary: The 11th squad believes that if you die saving your teammate you're doing a selfish and cowardly act. Ikkaku is a firm believer of this...yet he's the one who pushed Yumichika out of the way to take the spear to the chest in his friend's stead.


I own nothing. Inspired by the works of peroxidepest17. You should really check out her Bleach stories. They're wonderful.

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In the 11th squad sacrificing yourself for another squad member…was just stupid.

Dying in general was just stupid.

If you die in battle, you better make sure you take the fucker who took you out, with you.

When you fought Hollows, or enemies, or any other nameless foes you made sure to watch out for your own back, and if someone needed saving…well you better make sure that you both come out of it alive because dying while trying to save your teammate was just foolish. In the end it still meant that there was one less member of the 11th squad, and that there would be someone out their mourning the death of the person that died.

And the people who vigorously believed that taking someone else's place of death for another squad member was a very foolish deed were of course Captain Zaraki, Yumichika, and Ikkaku. Yachiru would probably grow up to believe just as her beloved Captain did too, and for now she just went along with believing what they told her, even if she didn't quite understand the big deal of dying while rescuing another member.

The little girl had giggled and said anyone who died sacrificing himself or herself for another must have just been selfish, because in a way it was being selfish. Not only were they making the person they just rescued looking incapable of protecting themselves, but they there also making the person they just rescued forced to live with the regret of having to know they had been too weak to watch their own back.

Zaraki Kenpachi agreed fully with his little charge, and made Ikkaku to promise to write Yachiru's words down word for word and post them on the bulletin bored at the 11th squad office.

So when third chair Madarame Ikkaku pushed fifth chair Ayasegawa Yumichika out of the way and took a spear to the chest, everyone in the 11th squad had been surprised, even Captain Zaraki.

Yumichika had almost dropped his sword as he stared at Ikkaku who held a large spear made of bone in his chest. Ikkaku held it in his own chest for two reasons. One was that while he held it in he could get a clear shot at the Hollow at the other end of this spear weapon and two, if Ikkaku pulled the weapon from his chest now the blood that was leaking from his body would leak out even quicker, and the bald man would surely die. Ayasegawa Yumichika had always liked the color red; he thought it looked very good on his "beautiful frame," as he called it…but at the moment Yumichika couldn't think of a more ugly color as he watched the red spill from his closest friend's chest with a disturbingly slow ease.

It had been another regular day, another ordinary mission for the 11th squad-a completely normal mission…go kill off a bunch of hollows. Easy battle. A few Menos Grandes had shown up, but that only thrilled the 11th squad more and Captain Zaraki had let out a loud and fierce happy cry as they charged for battle, Yachiru giggling all the while as she was behind him. The group enjoyed the bought, and Yumichika was pleased when he found himself cornered by four large beasts-but they were easy to take care of with his trusted blade and just as he finished the four creatures off, he felt a hard push and stumbled forward.

When Yumichika had turned to see what had bumped then he had been shocked enough to let out a strangled gasp to see Ikkaku standing with his back to him, his sword thrust into a hollow's face, while Ikkaku's in other hand he held the spear that had been thrust into his chest firmly in place.

Ikkaku didn't pull the spear from his chest, but he did turn to look at Yumichika with a bored face, before stumbling forward a bit, and turning so he could lean his back against a nearby tree.

And now here they were.

Ikkaku bleeding as he held a weapon firmly in his own chest, Yumichika so shocked he couldn't go back to the fight, and the rest of the 11th squad including their Captain fighting in a sort of awed silence at what Ikkaku had just done.

"What were you thinking?" Yumichika finally said loudly his voice filled with anxiety and his normal placid, pretty face, pale and looking stretched. "Taking a blow for me…this is very…this is not pretty at all!" Yumichika sputtered.

"Ah…quit your bitchin'…when have I ever been pretty?" Ikkaku mumbled sinking to the ground dropping his hands by his side. He sucked in his breath. The sound was different then normal, it sounded as if Ikkaku was taking a loud slurp of something through a straw. When Ikkaku finally sighed and released the breath, blood dripped from his nose and mouth. "Stupid…" Ikkaku finally whispered, "I'd hate for people to make fun of ya…there would be…too many people…to beat."

Yumichika looked at him confused and Ikkaku finally rolled his eyes.

"Yumi…that Hollow was going to stab you in the b-back. If you got stabbed in the back and died…p-people would say it was cuz you were a coward and were runnin' away…they'd tease ya…and I ain't got time to…run around correctin' everyone on what really happened to ya if ya…did die like that…pretty boy," Ikkaku explained blinking several times. His words were jumbled, and drawn out.

Yumichika noted this was probably as close to death Ikkaku had ever come. And it was during this mental note Yumichika realized that his friend may had just vary well pulled a very selfish move. Yumichika was shaking then. No one could see it unless they knew him well, but Ikkaku could see the faint signs of Yumichika's quivering. You just had to look at Yumichika's blade that trembled in the elegant man's normally firm grip. "You're a fool…" Yumichika finally growled, sounding so unlike himself, "I don't have time to contact the others to prepare your funeral! There is no time to make the funeral up and get everything beautiful…"

"...I'm really sorry about that Yumi," Ikkaku finally whispered unable to look Yumichika in the eye. Yumichika's throat closed in himself, and he found his eyes were widening uncharacteristically...and he just couldn't stop himself.

"Ah a funeral won't be necessary," came a sweet voice, and Yumichika turned in time to see the 4th squad Captain brushing past him.

Captain Unohana smiled serenely and approached Ikkaku, "Ah Ikkaku-san…how lucky you are that I was coming here to check on the other casualties. You looks tired…why don't you rest…I'll take care of this wound."

And then everything was okay again.

Yumichika stopped trembling and vowed to beat Ikkaku within an inch of his life as the bald man chuckled happily, "Ah!! I am Lucky!" Ikkaku said gently raising a fist as if he would get up to do one of his silly little dances. But Ikkaku put his hand down and closed his eyes as Unohana gently touched him, "I am very lucky," Ikkaku said again, "There's no way in hell I would be so selfish as to die for Yumi…h-he'd never let me hear the end of it…I'd hear hi-his bitchin' all the way back in the human world when I started life over again!"

Yumichika put on a sweet little smile and a calm face, as if the concern he had shown just second before had never been there. "Captain Unohana! Nice to see you, you're as lovely as ever! I'm sorry you must lower yourself by taking care of my ugly, uncouth, unsightly friend."

Ikkaku grunted in annoyance, too weary to properly send an insult back but, then Captain Zaraki's voice rang out.

"Yumi! You fuckin' flamboyant drag queen! Quit yer yappin' and get over here and help finish off these Hollows." Zaraki turned to glared at Yumichika, and snorted, "That worthless baldy is still alive, therefore you don't need to worry about him. Kick his ass after we finish with these wimps."

"Yes Captain!" Yumichika said with a smile sparing his best friend one last glance. Ikkaku was looking back at Yumichika and the two shared an identical smirk before Yumichika went off to battle alongside his captain.

"Captain Zaraki I must remark how lovely you look in battle today!" Yumichika's song like voice rang out.

"Shut up you feathered peacock and get to hackin' off these Hollows heads!" Was the angry Zaraki's response.

Though dying to save another member was thought of as cowardly and selfish…and no one believed this more then the Captain Zaraki, Ikkaku, and Yumichika…Ikkaku was really glad he had done what he did. Even as Ikkaku found himself wearily fighting between consciousness and unconsciousness as the gentle Captain Unohana worked on him, the bald warrior couldn't help but feel that even if this move of saving Yumichika could have been a selfish mistake…Ikkaku was glad to have spared his friend a death caused from being attacked from behind…well Hell. Ikkaku was glad to have spared Yumichika a scar on his back.

"There is nothing to fear..." Unohana's voice said softly, "I expect a complete recovery in just a day or two...get some rest."

Ikkaku snorted and smiled ruefully as he heard her voice.

Ikkaku knew that when he was better he would no doubt face relentless teasing, wild rumors of Ikkaku lovingly saving his friend (no doubt those rumors would be started by Yumichika himself-The bastard), and some beatings (which in all honesty even in his half dead state Ikkaku looked forward to those future fights) from his Captain and Yumichika, Ikkaku still couldn't help feel he'd rather be thought of as a selfish coward, then a man who would stand by and let his best friend die-no matter how annoying he could sometimes be.

End 

I am uncertain of this in all honestly…I think it worked better in my head then on paper. This is my third Bleach story, so I hope I can only get better. Maybe I'll revise it if my skills improve.


End file.
